I’ve been super swamped lately. Lots of stuff happening (mostly working for clients and making the money), and unfortunately, not much time left for me to write posts here. However, I’ve recently been very drawn to a classic piece of art and I wanted to take a short moment to write about this beautiful painting by Sandro Botticelli, The Birth of Venus, and what it means to me.
I never took a painting/art class in college, so I don’t know much about the background or technicalities of this painting. But I do know that at some point in human history, Venus, here in all her near nude glory, was considered a beautiful woman.
Today, while Rene was trying to describe to me how her face has great ratios and thus looks really beautiful and healthy, I couldn’t stop looking at how well rounded Venus’ body is. She’s certainly not ugly by today’s standards, but a woman of her shape would be considered a little pudgy now. I mean, she does have a little pudge on her belly there. Swimsuit models of today certainly don’t have those. But despite that, she still looks really healthy and beautiful in this painting to me.
I was still thinking about this painting a few hours later when I got out of the shower and got a quick glance of myself in the mirror. I suddenly realized that my body doesn’t look all that different from Venus’ body.
I’ve been recently feeling bad about my body because I’ve put on a few extra pounds. I’m not sure why I’ve been putting on the extra weight lately, but I think it may have to do with the recent kidney and liver cleanse I’ve been on for the last few months. The cleanse has been bringing me back to lower energy levels I had back before I ate organically and Weston A. Price Foundation friendly, and I’m guessing that the weight gain may just be my body drawing out the bad stuff I had eaten years ago that have built up in my kidney and liver. I’m still eating fairly healthy right now, but maybe I’ve been eating too many grains for a protein type like me. At any rate, I’ve put on extra weight, had to go up in some clothes sizes again, and just feeling plain bad about the whole situation. Luckily, I’ve just finished my cleanse, so I’m hoping my body will return back to my prior size and weight. And I’m also trying to cut down on grains I don’t prepare myself. So yes, I feel bad like most other women do when they put on extra pounds, and I can’t help but try to plan to get that extra weight off my body as soon as possible.
However, when I saw my body today in the mirror looking so similar to Venus’ body in this painting, I realized that even though I may feel bad about my increased dress size and extra pudge around my middle, Rene still thinks I’m super beautiful, just like he thinks Venus is here. This gives me a little more perspective about changing female body images over the ages, and it makes me a little jealous that I don’t live back in the days where my body now would have been considered the most sought after body type of all.
Luckily for me, Rene thinks that most women in the media are too skinny, and he likes women who have more curves and roundness. Not fat, but not like a surfboard either. I still have trouble believing that Rene thinks this, I think I’ve become ultra sensitive to the super skinny models and wanting my own body to look like that. So while my body does look like Venus’ here, I feel like I’m fat, and yet I think Venus is beautiful…something is definitely not connecting right in my brain on this matter.
I think I’m going to try to stare at Venus here a lot (along with all these other beautiful plus sized models), and try to shift my brain into thinking that I am not fat, but rather beautiful like Venus, like real women with real bodies. Maybe if I stare at her enough, it will make me stop comparing myself to all those really skinny bodies on magazine covers.
I know I’m not alone on this matter. I know a lot of other women have bodies just like mine and freak out just the same when they gain a little extra weight. Women, tell me about your struggles with your body. What do you feel when you suddenly have to go up a pants size? What do you do when bikini season is around and once again you don’t feel sexy/fit enough to put one on? What do you do to help you feel better?
And men, do you think Venus here is beautiful? Is she fat or just the right shape? Do you prefer her over skinny models? Do these plus sized models look less beautiful than the really skinny ones?